I know I know, sensible theories are kind of boring. But here’s one that makes a whole lotta sense.

A lovely reader sent me an email a few weeks back (I was out having drinks after work, saw it come up and shoved it up to my boyfriends face screaming “LOOK, AN EMAIL ABOUT MY BLOG! LOOOOOK MY FIRST EMAIL ABOUT MY BLOGGGGG!”). In the email she included this theory that kind of made me go “Aw shucks, that’s pretty darn obvious – why hadn’t I thought of that?”. I think I’m too busy trying to find (or make up) some juicy gossip that is the key to Weezer’s supposed disdain for our fair country.

Maybe – just maybe – Weezer are reluctant to come back to Australia because 3/4 of them are married with children. As such, perhaps they don’t want to be apart from their wives/kids for as long as it would take to complete a tour here.

See? Told you it was sensible. And it’s probably true. If you look back at Weezer’s tour schedule for the last 12 months, it has primarily been festivals here and there – nothing that’s kept them away from their homes too long. The problem with touring Australia –  either with a festival or a tour of their own – they’re going to be away from their family for at least 2 weeks generally. The only way to really combat this is for them to commit to a 2 or 3 gig east cost tour which would take no more than a week, and maybe no promoter here has presented such an idea to them.

It’s hard for me to rag on them about this – it’s fair enough. Sure, it’s easy for us to say “Just bring the families over! No biggie!” but just imagine the inflation of costs that that’s going to put on a promoter. It’s a difficult one. Maybe we should just keep our fingers crossed that we might see a tour after the kids grow up a little. I can bet the guys will be begging for a couple of weeks away once the teenage years begin.

As mentioned in my previous post, Saves The Day will be gracing our fair shores next year for Soundwave 2012, and their performances will include playing Pinkerton in full. If Pinkerton’s not your omg-favourite-weezer-album-evarrr and you’d prefer to hear something from the Blue album, never fear! Good Charlotte is here (next month)!

Performing at Selina’s in Coogee, Good Charlotte will be taking part in what is called The JD Set. I’m not that familiar with what that means exactly, but it seems like Jack Daniels sponsor a number of gigs that involve bands covering other bands, as well as playing a bunch of their own songs. So, beware if you’re not a Good Charlotte fan, because it sounds like you’ll be hearing a few of their own tunes if you go along. Tickets can be purchased from Moshtix.

Soundwave promotor AJ Maddah has confirmed via his Twitter account that, as well as doing a set of their own songs, emo indie rockers from New Jersey ‘Saves The Day’ will be performing Pinkerton in full at Soundwave 2012.

Saves the Day were strong on the radars of many Aussie Weezer fans when AJ mentioned earlier this year that there would be an hour of Weezer played at Soundwave Revolution this year (a festival that ended up being cancelled). Although never officially announced for the now-defunct Revolution, rumours were rife seeing as Chris Conley and co performed Pinkerton in full last year at The Hoodwink festival in NJ. Turns out we were right and luckily for us, they were moved up to Soundwave 2012!

Once again, Weezer themselves have been discounted from the lineup of Soundwave 2012, and with the lineup of next year’s Big Day Out being announced today, I’m sure it’s only a matter of hours before we’re disappointed on that front too. Ahh, the life of an Aussie Weezer fan! 

I did the Melbourne > Sydney > LA flight and back a couple of weeks ago. Despite being cramped up in economy, I survived and even managed almost 8 hours sleep on my way home. I’m sure you can manage 14 hours in first class. You’ll be fine, I promise.

Because these are the kinds of people they see representing the ‘average’ Australian on an intenational level at sporting events etc:

I am kind of unsure as to how we manage to get ANYONE to visit Australia, really. If you are supporting this behaviour, please stop.

Also on an unrelated note; I am kind of creeped out by the number of people who have found this blog by searching for half Japanese girls on Google. Unless you are Rivers, please stop being creepy and go away. Thanks!

This week it was announced that Soundwave Revolution had been canned due to problems sorting out headliners (a rant within itself that I could beat with a dead horse, but I will hold off). This kind of sucks for us Weezer fans because there was still a little glimmer of hope that we were going to see some semblance of the band at the festival.

This made me think back to the last time we heard strong rumours of Weezer doing an Aussie festival (as mentioned in this post about Coppell). It was the V Festival which eventually ended up being cancelled before any chance of us seeing Weezer on our shores.

As a person that is really clasping at straw trying to come up with things to post to this blog, I came up with the most reasonable explanation that I could, given these pieces of information:

Weezer are a curse on the Australian festival circuit.

(Couldn’t think of a relevant image for this post, so have a kind-of, sort-of related picture of witchcraftish things. I don’t know).

Just think about it. What was the eventual fate of Livid Festival, the one and only time Weezer came to Australia? Cancelled in 2002.

Could it actually be that it is actually TRUE that Weezer want to tour Australia, but circumstances like this always get in the way of them coming here? Sounds like crazy-talk to me, but let’s digest this information for a while.. say, long enough for me to think of some other crazy-brained theory about Australia’s lack of Weezer goodness.

If I were a festival or tour promoter who was a bit of a believer in curses and hexes and all that good stuff, I would be a little skeptical about getting this band to tour as well. Maybe. Probably not. Hell, I’d still sell everything I own and my grandmother’s beachside apartment to get them to tour here.

Because we eat the animals on our national emblem.

Adorable illustration by Melissa T. Liban

I expect that most of you playing at home are aware of the fact that half of Weezer’s current line-up are herbivores: Rivers is a vegetarian, while Brian is a vegan. Their riders for shows always request a vegan meal option, as well as other veggie-friendly noms such as a vegetarian soup or chilli.

Maybe our fair shores weren’t able to adequately meet their requirements when they came 15 years ago for Livid. I can’t imagine Australia had the most amazing selection of vegetarian and vegan options back then. I’m thinking bland tofu dishes, veggie sausages that taste similar to feet and a whole bunch of unappetising salad sandwiches.

IF they ever did decide to return, they would be happy to find that our veggie cuisine has vastly improved since the late ’90s, not only in quality but in accessibility. You’d be hard pressed to find a restaurant that doesn’t provide a vegetarian option, and who wouldn’t be willing to throw together something that’s vegan. Heck, just come to Melbourne and have anything from Lord of the Fries and you’ll never want to leave (if any of you haven’t been there, GO NOW. Then thank me later). Here is a rather large – but definitely not exhaustive – list of restaurants, cafes and stores that have been given the veggie-head tick of approval by Happy Cow.

And don’t forget that our beloved Vegemite is vegetarian, too!

I am not even joking, I booked my cabin last night. From the looks of the forums and twitter, there will be more than just a few Aussies on this cruise. With 6 months to go, should we all get together and begin our plans to take over the boat and steer it to Australian shores?

Yesterday Soundwave promoter AJ Maddah made a very interesting tweet regarding Weezer and Soundwave Revolution, his new festival that will take place in September and October this year. It read as the following:

@iamnotshouting Bad news: I’ve now given up on @riverscuomo ever coming back to Aus. Good News: We’re still going to have an hour of Weezer #swREVOLUTION

A resulting article on FasterLouder is rife with theories on what this could mean, most popular (and likely) being that there will be a Weezer cover band added to the line up. Other possibilities are that another band (or bands) on the lineup will perform Weezer songs as well as their own, or that the rest of Weezer will grace us with their presence, sans Mr. Cuomo.

Personally, the only one of these possibilities that will get me to fork over $130+ for the ticket would be to see 3/4 of the real band.

What do you guys think of this still unraveling revelation?

Last time Weezer toured Australia: Silverchair hadn’t even yet released Freak Show, they were still in high school, and they still looked like this:

Incidentally, Silverchair were also on the lineup for Livid Fest the year that Weezer played.

Do you feel old yet?